Two days ago, I shared the following opinions with my daughter for her consideration after she informed me of a young lady that wants to be friends with her but my daughter is not feeling the connection:
- Hang with the young people that want to hang with you.
- Don’t pursue anyone that shows an unwillingness to associate with you.
- Don’t allow someone’s choice to not befriend you determine your worth.
- Don’t force friendship, actions will show if they want to be friends.
- If there is someone that wants to be your friend but you -- for whatever reason -- don’t want to engage her or him in friendship, do so upfront and politely. Don’t put them on the bench for use when the starters are not available.
Coincidently, today I read Seth Godin’s blog and found his latest post succinctly addresses the heart of the matter which led me to blog and share:
A huge swath of human unhappiness is generated by selecting someone to pick you, only to have that person abuse the power, let you down or otherwise seduce you into pursuing something that's not going to happen. Unchoose those people as choosers.
If you've signed up to be…chosen by someone who's not going to respond to your efforts, it's not a smart choice.
And one last thing: The ultimate privilege is to pick ourselves. To decide that the most important person to be chosen by is ourself.
If you pick yourself as the chooser, if you give yourself the power to say 'go', I hope you'll respect how much power you have, and not waste it.
He nailed it. If you are waiting to be chosen, or, accepted by others, stop it. There are enough obstacles in your path already, choose you, and keep it moving forward.
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