Don't --- NO Wait --- Do Judge Me

Don’t --- NO Wait--- Do Judge Me

I was talking to a friend who revealed personal information (too personal in my opinion) about himself, followed by the comical “don’t judge me.” All in the room had a laugh then we continued the conversation.

His request not to be judged was just as serious as it was funny. However, I was thinking later that it’s impossible not to judge him.

I don’t go around actively aiming to judge people, but I do form opinions based on the information available. I consciously avoid acting on initial (positive or negative) personal judgments and allow individuals an opportunity to show themselves for who they are, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t judge people.  We are good at judging things, which makes us think we are good at judging people. We are not, yet, judging what we see is likely our first inclination. We see someone based on what’s visible to the naked eye then we pass judgment on them. Again, it’s not likely to be good judgment --- think of the Trayvon Martin & George Zimmerman situation, a teenager ended up dead in-part because an adult judged him to be a potential wrongdoer. Often, no effort is made to assess our judgment, we tend to find ways to validate our judgment.

To reference the Bible, Romans 2:1: Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are that judge: for wherein you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you that judge do the same things. Translation: you who pass judgment on someone else are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. John 8:15: Jesus answered and said to them, Though I bear record of myself, yet my record is true: for I know from where I came, and where I go; but you cannot tell from where I come, and where I go. You judge after the flesh; I judge no man. Translation: You people judge by outward appearances; I [Jesus] do not judge anyone.

I think most would agree with Jesus, and aim not to judge anyone because passing judgment on people in general is a bad thing with or without evidence. Nevertheless, we are flesh, not Jesus, and it’s said the flesh is weak. No matter how hard we try, the odds are we are going to pass judgment. I think most of us don’t act on our instant judgments and have learned to evaluate each individual or give individuals space to be themselves, but it’s ok to admit that we sometimes judge the book by its cover. Therefore, I invite you to pass judgment on me. Look at me and form an opinion or conclusion about me based on what you see. Judge me based on my writing, or on my northern accent, or what you’ve read about me, or what you’ve heard about me, or the stereotypes that may be associated with my outer appearance. Go ahead, pass your judgment.

Here’s what I’m going to do differently: NOTHING. I invite you to judge me because --- to use a tired cliché: at the end of the day --- I don’t seek your approval. Should you get to know me, odds are you’ll like me, a few will not. Should you not get to know me, life goes on. Either way, I am going to continue to be me.

Consider living for you. You don’t need my approval. You don’t need his approval. You don’t need her approval. Why care who judges you? Consider living a life that is respectable on your terms as best possible within the context of your reality. The rest will take care of itself.